World’s finest purveyor of Llama Chutes

World’s finest purveyor of Llama Chutes

I received the following email today, obviously a spam since the “To” address is to someone else and I’ve been BCC’d.

Hello Sir/Madam,
My name is Alan Robert and I mailed to make an enquiry of some of your Llama Chutes.E-mail me with the prices of the Llama Chutes that you have.
Quick Question:What method of payment do you accept?
Hope o hear from you soon
Thank You
Best Regards,

Alan Robert (Owner)
Btbr Solutions Inc.
775-243-6610 local
775-307-8829 fax
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

This is so weird and random, I couldn’t help sending the following reply:

Dear Mr. Robert,

I am happy to hear from you. We carry a full line of Llama Chutes and I’m sure you’ll find just the Llama Chute you desire!

At the entry level is the Llama Chute 1000 with a capacity up to 500 llamas per hour sliding down from a maximum height of 40 feet. Our top-of-the-line model is the Llama Chute Extreme BS with a capacity of 1,000 llamas per hour and a maximum height of 100 feet. Let me tell you, those llamas get quite a ride! Whew!

The chutes are $10,000 each for the Llama Chute 1000 and $25,000 for the Extreme BS (this is our specialty) and you may send me a cashier’s check or money order drawn on US funds. No other forms of payment are possible. Thank you for your interest in Llama Chutes!

Signed your llama-loving (but in a platonic way) friend,

Domenic

I’ll let you know whether he replies. Anyway, I think this calls for a few verses of The Llama Song. I hope you enjoy that running through your head for the next few hours.

Written by
Domenico Bettinelli
13 comments
  • Beautiful response, Domenic.

    Llama Chutes will definitely catch on.
    Suggest you petition for the exclusive rights of distribution.

    This could be the start of an enterprise worthy of Warren Buffett.

    Pursue it with all you’ve got.

  • that’s hilarious. It reminds me of someone I knew who actually responded to one of those Nigerian “have I got an investment for you, just sent $2500 …” emails. They went back and forth to great lengths and this person had quite the wit about them. The Nigerian on the other end would get so mad at him for calling him out on the scam. It was awesome.

  • You should be hearing from our lawyers shortly as I believe your product name infringes on our trademark of the name Llama ‘Chutes. Here at Llama ‘Chutes Unlimited we have spent hundreds of thousands of man hours developing highly specialized parachutes for the Llama Insertion industry. Thousands of our Llama ‘Chutes are used every year to airdrop llama commandos behind enemy lines, llama peacekeepers into war-torn countries, and llama emergency workers into areas devastated by natural disaster. Our Llama ‘Chutes are also the exclusive parachutes of the Homeland Security Department’s Rapid Response Llama Taskforce. Please cease and desist from the illeagal use of our product name, because believe me, you don’t want a visit from our special cadre of paratrooper Llamas!

  • You’ll note that your product name includes an apostrophe whereas our product does not, meaning it’s a completely different thing.

    If you think your Llama paratroopers are scary, you do not want to face our Llama Llawyers.(TM)

  • I’m impressed. Your sliding Llama Chutes are kinder and gentler. WHen you want to get the llama out of the chute, they just slide out instead of having to beat on the animal, push it or pull on a rope.

  • On the drive in to work today I had a Eureka moment! You need to diversify your product line. And what would be the perfect complementary product for Llama Chutes? Llama Ladders, of course! And if you get them into production quickly enough, Llama Chutes and Ladders could totally be a demonstration sport at the 2010 Llamalympics!

  • I have just received a similar email from seemingly the same spammer!  I have come accross your blog after googling their telephone number.

    I can’t think of anything as funny as your reply to send, so if you come up with anything please email me!!

    “Hello Sir/Madam,
    My name is Robert Cox and I will like to order some of your Stretcher.Email me with the Stretcher and their price quote that you have.

    Quick Question:What method of payment do you accept?

    Hope to hear from you soon

    Thank You
    Best Regards,

    Robert Cox (Owner)
    Btbr Solutions Inc.
    103 Temple St,
    New Haven,
    CT 06510
    775-243-6610 local
    775-307-8829 fax
    .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

    Ha ha!!

  • Dominic,
    We are an agricultural equipment company in Chicago and have also received an inquiry (in the same format) for industrial vacuums. I too Googled the company listed and was lead to your website. Your response was hillarious and I would like to respond to him in kind but, we actually DO sell industrial vacuums!
    I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your response and the following comments afterward…particularly the Llama Chutes & Ladders! That was great! Thanks for the laughs.
    Regards, Tim

    Hello Sir/Madam,
    My name is Robert Cox and I will like to order some of your industrial vacuum cleaners.Email me with the price list of the industrial vacuum cleaners that you have.
    Quick Question:What method of payment do you accept?
    Hope to hear from you soon
    Thank You
    Best Regards

    Robert Cox (Owner)
    Btbr Solutions Inc.
    775-243-6610 local
    775-307-8829 fax
    .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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