Babysitting 1.0

A new dad who happens to be a software engineer leaves hilariously detailed instructions for the babysitter of his newborn son:

"Hey, this is a quick primer on dealing with an infant. Hope it's useful for you.

• He gets a bottle every 2 hours (today, he started at 9:30a)
  • 3 oz, warmed to blood temperature in microwave in mug of water
    • In your Microwave, this proved to take about 30 sec
  • During feeding, Wiggle the nipple gently until you can tell he's getting suction
  • The vent will be dry
  • You'll see bubbles rising to the formula's surface inside the bottle as air enters via the vent
• In case of crying
  1. Is his diaper dirty?
     • Simple test is if the front feels swollen; if so, he's peed at least.
     • Poop will have a distinct smell; carefully open the back and look for signs
       • He poops every other day, so it probably won't be an issue
     • See [Skills/Changing a Diaper]"

And so on ...