Melanie has cancer

Melanie has cancer

Melanie has now explained on her blog the reason for this renewed request for prayers. We found out yesterday that she has uterine cancer.

The doctors found it when examining the tissues after the miscarriage, so in a way you could say baby Francis gave his life to save his mother’s. The doctor was a bit mystified by it all, because Melanie is so young and had so recently had a baby and then gotten pregnant again, which should mitigate against such things. Thus the doctor decided to do a biopsy to make double sure, and we should have the results on Monday. He said the chance that the initial diagnosis was wrong is exceeding small.

The prognosis for Melanie is good. He said if you’re going to get cancer, this is the kind to get. However, the usual remedy is a hysterectomy, which obviously means no more pregnancies, no more kids. Yes, I know we could adopt, except it’s so expensive, I can’t even consider it now. And it’s not quite the same thing—not that I’m running down adoption, but co-creating with God a new child of your own flesh and blood is at the heart of marriage and family and it’s a big mental adjustment.

We haven’t given up hope. We’ve decided to ask for the intercession of Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, who is in need of another miracle for the cause of her canonization. We do have a first class relic, given to me several years ago by some Missionaries of Charity, and we would like to publicly ask you all to pray for her intercession.

Melanie has much more personal reflections on her blog, very good ones, if I do say so myself, which I’m sure is part of God’s plan. And again thank you all for your well wishes and especially your prayers.

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Written by
Domenico Bettinelli
60 comments
  • My heart and my prayers go out to Melanie and you, Dom.  Know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers for peace, healing, mercy and grace.

  • ” God does incredible things when we are docile to his plan, and generally that plan is not a black and white kind of thing. God asks us to walk by faith, holding him by the hand, without knowing always where the next footstep should go. But it is truly beautiful to live this way, because then God can fulfil his plan in us, and his plan is infinitely more interesting than anything we could ever dream up.”
    This was written to me recently by a friend in the seminary and I thought I would share it with you at this time.  In the meantime, I am asking for Mother Teresa’s intercession.

  • Tears streaming down my face as I read this.

    My husband and I have been here before…

    Mother Teresa, we pray for your intervention!

  • Dom you will be in my prayers.

    After my wife had a miscarriage we decided to look into adoption. She didn’t have cancer or anything and we already had 3 biological daughters, but we still felt the desire for another child.

    When we started researching adoption we did get sticker shock. The price can range from $13k – $30k.
    The more I thought about it, I came to realize that the average price for a new car is probably about $20k and most people think nothing about buying a new car. How about a new child that needs a home?

    Our son is now 2 years old and I can’t imagine how boring our lives would be without him.

    Anyway, I know finances are tough for you right now, but I just thought I would throw in my 2 cents on adoption costs and the rewards.

  • I’ll be sure to keep you in my prayers. As both a biological father and an adoptive father, I’ll also pray that the Holy Spirit be with you as you determine if God is calling you to consider adoption in the future.

  • Dom,
    We will keep Melanie and your family in our heartfelt prayers.  We will pray for Blessed Mother Teresa’s intercession for Melanie.  Be assured of our continued prayer support!
    God love you!

  • I hope the intercession is successful.

    I followed the link here from Amy Welborn’s, and felt compelled to respond. I was married in November 2005. In May 2006, my wife was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. We’re both 36. Although she’s seen numerous doctors, acupuncturists etc, the likelihood is that we can never have children. The odds, while not zero, are very small. As for adoption, I have the same reservations you do, but it seems like our only choice at this point. Especially since every specialist tries to push IVF, which just makes it worse for us. I guess at this point prayer is all we have left. Anyway, I know what you are going through.

  • Dom and Melanie,    I am praying for the intercession of Blessed Teresa for you both and your little Bella.

    I bring up the following only because adoption was mentioned in the post.    As the mother of both biological and adopted children, I feel compelled to recall that one of the spouses in the Holy Family was called to be an adoptive parent.    Adoption was not God’s “back up plan” for St. Joseph.  And I will add if God calls you to adoption, the funding will be there.

  • Prayer is the only help in times like this.

    My prayer is that the initial pathology report was mistaken.

    Blessings.

  • We make plans and God laughs.  Yet God is good, and He will bring good things out of this tragedy because you trust Him.  I pray that He will grant you courage to meet even this with the joy born from His grace.

  • I join with you in prayer to the Divine Physician, through Mother Teresa’s intercession.  May the love, healing, and gentleness of Our Lady be with you these days…

  • She will certainly be in my prayers, as will you.

    Since we have a local shrine to Our Lady of La Leche I will also ask her intercession besides Blessed Mother Teresa.

  • I was unable to have biological children at all (so I know how difficult the news may be for you and your wife).  But my husband who is absolutely incredibly wonderful agreed that we should adopt and our little girl is now 12.  We call her our miracle.  Adoption does cost more than biological parenthood but you do not have to pay for all of it rightaway (it took me two years to be approved) and in the US, you get a tax break, I think. God bless you at this difficult time.

  • May God give you the grace to face whatever lies ahead.  You are in my prayers.

  • “Only faith can guarantee the blessings that we hope for, or prove the existence of the realities that at present remain unseen.” Heb. 11:1
    My prayers for your family and yourself.

  • My prayers go out to you and Melanie.  I fully understand that you have to go through this and reach some peace and acceptance before considering other options such as adoption.  It took us 2 years of infertility to know it was time to adopt.  I had a dream of us flying home from somewhere with 2 babies and knew it was time.  God put all kinds of examples around us, practically shouting out at us.  But first things first.  May Blessed Teresa of Calcutta intercede on your behalf.

    If/when the time comes you have questions about adoptions, please feel free to email and I can tell you our experience in Russia, including financial matters, and why we declined domestic (US) adoption.

  • God has not promised skies always blue,
    Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
    God has not promised sun without rain,
    Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
    But… God has promised strength for the day,
    Rest for the labor, light for the way.
    Grace for the trials, help from above,
    Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

  • I will remember and pray for you and your wife at Masses I assist at.

  • You and Melanie will receive all the necessary graces to get through this. Just ask HIM for what you need and be open to His will.HE will provide.

  • Dom, Melanie – of course you are in my prayers; I offered Mass yesterday (Thursday) for your intentions.

    I, also, pray for docility to His will—infinitely more beautiful and sublime than my own.

    From this potential difficulty, I am certain that He will make something beautiful, something that will increase the love between you and that will glorify His Name.

    From Jeremiah in yesterday’s Mass:

    Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
    whose hope is the LORD.
    He is like a tree planted beside the waters
    that stretches out its roots to the stream:
    It fears not the heat when it comes,
    its leaves stay green;
    In the year of drought it shows no distress,
    but still bears fruit.

    God bless you both, and you will remain in my prayers.

  • Dom,

    I rarely comment and only at times like this, but I wanted you to know that you and Melanie are in my prayers.  I read you both daily and I will continue to ask God for healing, courage and His love.

    Laura

  • My prayers and thoughts are with you.  But please, have necessary treatment as soon as possible.  Adoption is possible—but far beyond that, the family you do have needs its mother.  Your uterus is not worth more than the rest of you.

    God bless.

  • With trust in God, may you and Melanie find the peace and hope needed. He will give you all you need. Bl. Mother Theresa, pray for Dom and Melanie. St. Peregrine Laziosi, pray for all who suffer the effects of cancer.

    God bless you all!

  • Dom & Melanie – your family was in my prayers this morning at Mass. Petitioned way too many saints to mention.

  • Mother Theresa, look down upon this small family and intercede for them with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that out of the riches of his mercy He will grant them every grace and healing according to his will.

  • I was so sorry to hear the bad news about Melanie’s cancer.
    May God give you both the strength and courage to face this challenge. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

  • Not my will but thine, Lord is such a difficult prayer that it was given to Jesus Himself in the garden to pray for us.

    God Bless you, Dom, and your family. You are in our prayers.

  • You and Melanie have prayed for me in many difficult circumstances, and it breaks my heart to hear this news.  I will ask St Gianna Molla to intercede for Melanie.  I would also suggest, on a practical level, getting a consultation with a cutting edge oncologist. Coming so soon after a miscarriage, I would suspect that this might be a choriocarcinoma, which could be treated with chemotherapy and not hysterectomy.  Please have the pathology slides read by some one not connected with the original institution.  and I will keep praying

  • I’ve already said a prayer on your behalf and will do so again. Lean on your faith and family and allow them to support you.
    God bless you. jef

  • We couldn’t afford adoption either, but we still felt called to adopt a child.  We told our families on Mother’s Day.  One of our relatives spoke to me later, “Don’t let money stop you, or even slow you down.  How much do you need?”  We stepped out i in faith, and he paid for everything.  It turns out that our boy was conceived on or about the date that we mailed our application, and we feel that it was in God’s plan all along for him to be our child.  We just had to bring him home.  I will pray for you.

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