“We’re from the government and we’re here to help”

“We’re from the government and we’re here to help”

Because parents can’t be trusted to raise their own children without having a government bureaucrat looking over their shoulders, a Minnesota legislator has proposed the “Universal Newborn Visiting Program”, which would require a government-appointed agent to visit parents of newborns at the hospital or at home as soon as possible after birth. (Rest assured: the law would require that the visitors must “reflect the demographics of the community,” so you can be confident of receiving someone who looks just like you, racial hegemony being so important to liberal bureaucrats.)

This government visitor would provide a whole litany of information to parents, referring them to whole panoply of government-provided services. And since the success of the program will be determined by how many families are referred to a program, there is a built-in incentive to find a problem with every family.

Imagine the scenario: “Gee, Bob, your referrals are down this month. If we don’t make our referral quota, we’re going to lose funding.” The civil service mantra is always: “Don’t kill the job or underspend the funding.”

When we were in the hospital the night Melanie went into labor, I had to step out for a moment to get her bag from the car. While I was out, the nurse peppered Melanie with questions about whether she was being domestically abused. Of course, Melanie was offended at the suggestion, but apparently this—like offers to talk about birth control—that our government overseers have determined must become intrusions into the happy time of birth.

Seeing trouble where none exists

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Written by
Domenico Bettinelli