I keep telling Melanie what a wonderful wife she’ll be. (You know she’s not here as I write this because she’d never let me post it when she’s present.)
There are many reasons, but the one most relevant to all of you is how she tempers my excesses and bad habits. Just last night I went on a little rant about somebody being too pushy and condescending and ... well, I don’t want to go on for reasons that will soon become obvious.
Melanie looked up from her grading and just smiled a little bit at me as I went on. It was a particular smile, one eyebrow raised a little, her head tilted to the side. I knew what it meant. “You think I do the same thing,” I said defensively. I tried to distance myself from the unspoken accusation, giving all kinds of reasons why I’m different from the one I was upset with, but she wasn’t budging. And I knew she was right. It didn’t stop me from trying once again to deny the truth, to “nuance” what I was saying so that I could be self-righteous with having to admit my own error. Eventually I just stopped, shook my head, ruefully said, “Pot, this is the kettle. You’re black,” and went back to the computer.
And she didn’t have to say a word.
Like I said, she’s going to be a wonderful wife.
Mutual *gentle* chastisement when necessary is an important part of relationships bec it helps both parties to grow as individuals and I think it makes each feel indebted to the other, in a positive way. I need to be with someone who makes me feel like he makes me a better person.
Regards –
I was moved by the humility it must have taken to write this letter; then posting it on the Internet for everyone to see.
I hope you and Melanie have a wonderful new life together as husband and wife!
An example of “A soft answer (or a raised eyebrow) turneth away wrath…”
Smart lady, that Melanie…..
Hey Dom, all the best to you and Melanie. The great thing about wives is that they tend to civilize us men. I’ve had that same experience you reference here, where I go on and on about somebody being a buffoon and get that look of “Well, go look in a mirror…..”
Thank God for women, I think every guy should have one…..!
Yup, you’re well on the way to being whipped…..
That eyebrow’s gonna get a lot o’ work!