Ted Kennedy: theologian

Ted Kennedy: theologian

Ted Kennedy says Augusto Pinochet received Communion, so he should too despite enabling the murder of milliosn of aborted babies. Good argument there, Ted.

Of course, Kennedy tries to weasel his way out of it by assuring all the little old Catholic ladies who vote for him every six years that he has “immense respect for the Holy Father and his leadership in the faith and the cause of world peace.” His spokesman then makes him into a theologian: “The senator was simply making a general point that every one who comes forward at Mass can receive Communion.”

Everyone? Everyone?!

“Osama bin Laden, come on down! You’re the next contestant on ‘What’s My Conscience?,’ where everybody’s a winner. Johnny tell him what he’s won.”

“Bob, Osama’s won the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ, for doing nothing! By the simple fact that he’s breathing he’s eligible to receive the Eucharist. That’s right, no embarrassing Confession, no moral code, no hassle of becoming Catholic. If you want Him, you can have Him.”

“Who’s next, Bob?”

“Saddam Hussein, come on down…”

Written by
Domenico Bettinelli