More musings on marriage

More musings on marriage

Please forgive my continued musings on the advent of marriage and the end of single life. For those of you who are married, this is all old hat and for those of you who are not, you probably don’t care. Nevertheless, a blog is sometimes a place to put down thoughts you want to preserve for later consumption and review.

I was just thinking about how the idea of being married and having a family changes how I look at myself. As a single guy, the idea of being healthy, fit, in shape held a sort of theoretical attraction. Mainly, the idea was to be fit and healthy enough to be attractive to the opposite sex, but that was about it. But now as I think about my upcoming responsibilities to Melanie and our possible future children, it has a different meaning.

God willing and always putting His plan first, I need to ensure that I’m around for a good long time for them. Not just to provide an income for their material needs, but also for the emotional and spiritual need for a husband and father. Whereas before things like heart disease and cancer were somewhat concerning, like an abstract worry about terrorism in the world, these have taken on a new urgency, as if you’re on an airliner with some suspicious looking men where the worry is no longer so abstract.

I find myself concerned with my health, with eating better, with avoiding bad habits, and with getting in shape. Melanie and I are just starting our lives together. I want to be around for a good long time to enjoy these years. I am going to be 37 years old this year. Yeesh, just writing that makes me feel old. I’m going to be middle-aged soon. This is when things start to go wrong with your health. (By this age, my dad had already had the first of three heart attacks and a stroke was also in his future; he was also a three-pack-a-day smoker who handled toxic chemicals.)

N.B. In case I haven’t said it before, I do appreciate all the advice I’ve gotten in the past few months regarding weddings and marriage. Some of it was unexpected and bracing. For instance, David Alexander offered that we should never, in the heat of an argument ever use the D-word (divorce). Once uttered it can never be taken back and it forever changes the landscape of the relationship. Very good advice that Melanie and I will take to heart. (I hope we’re never in a situation where we are even tempted to use it, but at least we’re prepared.) So thank you all.

Written by
Domenico Bettinelli