You don’t vote for bishop!

You don’t vote for bishop!

I mentioned in the previous post that Voice of the Faithful New Jersey sounds suspiciously like a Monty Python skit from the movie “Holy Grail”. Here’s my reimagining of the scene between a bishop named “Arthur” and two Voice of the Faithful members:

ARTHUR: I am your bishop!
WOMAN: Well, I didn’t vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don’t vote for bishop.
WOMAN: Well, how did you become bishop, then?
ARTHUR: The Bishop of Rome, his arm clad in the purest shimmering damask, held aloft a crosier from the bosom of the cathedra signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry a crosier. That is why I am your bishop!
DENNIS: Listen. Strange men sitting on thrones distributing crosiers is no basis for a system of church government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical medieval ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ‘cause some German bookworm threw a crosier at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went ‘round saying I was a cardinal just because some silk-clad bint had lobbed a staff at me, they’d put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up, will you? Shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!

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Written by
Domenico Bettinelli
  • Now, in true fashion, getting totally off the point of the original post:

    My most watched movie is:

    The Great Santini with Robert Duvall & Blythe Danner

    I come from the moon, behind the clouds… UNANNOUNCED!

    38 or so times….

    Yes, I am a tool

  • I should probably specify, it’s THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS, the film Orson Welles made right after finishing CITIZEN KANE.

  • Obviously MP fiction, Dom.  A U.S. Bishop would have ignored them for forty years, or hired them to head up religious education in his diocese.

    Perhaps Bishop Arthur should have said:

    “I don’t want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper.  I fart in your general direction.  You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

    …but only if he’s French.