I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.
I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”
“Like what?”
“Well ... are you religious or atheist?”
“Religious.”
“Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?”
“Christian.”
“Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”
“Catholic.”
“Me too! Are you a liberal Catholic or conservative Catholic?”
“Conservative Catholic.”
“Wow! Me too! Are you a traditionalist conservative Catholic or a neo-conservative Catholic?”
“Traditionalist conservative Catholic.”
“Me too! Are you Latin rite traditionalist conservative Catholic, or are you Eastern Rite traditionalist conservative Catholic?”
“Latin rite traditionalist conservative Catholic.”
“Me too! Are you an Tridentine Mass Latin rite traditionalist conservative Catholic, or Latin rite Novus Ordo traditionalist conservative Catholic?”
“Latin rite Novus Ordo traditionalist conservative Catholic.”
To which I said, “Die, heretic scum!” and pushed him off.
[Sent to me by a priest friend]