1. We admitted we were powerless over Apple, that our bank accounts had become empty.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our wallets and our web browsers over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our consumer electronics.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of the perfectly fine computer/consumer electronics I already own.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all the bugs in our computers.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our temptations.
8. Made a list of all the credit cards we had maxed, and became willing to pay off them all.
9. Made direct payments to such banks wherever possible, except when to do so would injure my credit rating.
10. Continued to take inventory of my computer and consumer electronics and when we complained about how much slower than the new Macs they are promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with real people, as opposed to the make-believe world inside the shiny white box on my desk.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Apple-holics, and pledged to stay far away from my local Apple Store.
Did I mention that today Apple released its new MacBook? Oh sure, I got a new iBook just last year, but it’s not for me; the baby will need a new computer, right?
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