Nine months

Nine months

That title has a double meaning. Today is in fact the official Due Date for the baby. (”Okay, you can come out now. Hello?”) It is also the nine month anniversary of our wedding.

(For everyone doing the math, yes, it’s nine months to the day, but the actual conception was a few days later. We were doing the NFP-charting thing. Due dates are calculated from the end of the last period since the medical establishment doesn’t trust charting or some such. What do I know? I’m just the guy.)

It’s hard to believe we’ve been married nine months already and what a nine months it’s been. It’s been fantastic. Imagine this: I work from home. Apart from a few weeks of classes, Melanie’s been home too. We spend nearly 24/7 together and we never fight. We never even argue. We disagree, but always amicably and almost always with a smile at some point. I never would have imagined it would be possible to be with someone so much and get along so well.

And I love her more today and every day. Loving someone more is a difficult concept to grasp. I love Melanie with my whole self. How could I love her more tomorrow? Yet, I know I will because I love her more now than I did a year ago (and I loved her with my whole self last year.) Perhaps as we love we grow spiritually and emotionally and our capacity for love grows too. I’ll let the philosophers and poets hash that out.

Our domestic trinity

Within the next week or so (sooner I hope), our family trinity will be complete (but not yet either). The little child who has been in our midst these last nine months will finally make an appearance and my capacity for love will make another sudden surge. Oh yes, I’ve loved this little one for nine months now, but when I hold my child in my arms for the first time and look in those eyes… Hey, I’m Sicilian, we’re an emotional people. Don’t you dare tell a Sicilian it is unmanly for a guy to shed tears, especially over his children.

And then when that child is joined by brothers and sisters, God willing, that capacity for love will grow even more. Marriage and fatherhood is a good thing for men. We need it. I need it. with all due modesty, I will say that I was a pretty nice guy before I was married. But I’m a much better man now.

An image of the Trinity

Christ loves the Church, His bride, and I’m sure that love grows every day because the Church is growing every day. The Father loves His children and loves them all with His whole Being. The Holy Spirit is that Love that the Father pours out on us. My prayer is that I can, in some small way, continue to be an pale image of the Father for my children and of the Bridegroom for my wife and may our love burn pure and holy like the Holy Spirit. I’m beginning to truly understand what Christian marriage and family is about. Yet there’s still so much to learn. AMDG.

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Written by
Domenico Bettinelli
7 comments
  • All day, off and on, I prayed to Our Lady of Fatima on your family’s behalf. I plan to continue doing so.

    But I’m a much better man now.

    That’s so obvious! wink

  • What a beautiful post, Dom!  I hope someday I find a guy who feels the same way smile

  • Dom, what a beautiful reflection.

    The way doctors figure birth dates is sooooo “last century”—but it was in the, er, last century, too. My due date (way back in 1971) was Aug 15, but I just kept hanging out and hanging out, not going anywhere, and Mother just kept getting bigger and bigger . . . finally, the dr insisted on a ceasarean on the 28th, as I was just *too* big to even induce labor, and my parents assented because Mother was *huge*. But they weren’t very happy about it. Was I really too big or was it the dr’s perception based on the dial-a-date due date? (After I was older and this was explained to me, I joked to my mom, “Well, it was hot and sunny outside, and it was nice and just right where I was, I wasn’t in a hurry to go anywhere!”) My case was very exceptional, but I know of others where “regular” drs just brush off charting info and insist on using dial-a-date and then of course there’s some problem at the end that could have been avoided had the dr just used the charting info . . . (sigh).

    Wow. That’s just a great post.

  • Beautiful. Dom and Melanie, so delighted for both of you. Melanie I hope I get to meet you some day to see this great lady that has so swept Dom off his feet.  We all wait and pray with you.

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