Get over it?

Get over it?

Maybe I’m too harsh, but why is it some people can’t get over the bad things that happened to them as a kid? I saw a news story today that quotes a victim of sex abuse as saying that not a day goes by that he doesn’t think about what happened to him as a child. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t cry. He cries every day? Doesn’t that seem a bit strange?

I’m not approaching this completely removed from what the guy is going through. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before on this blog (and I think I’ve only told a few people this), but I was abused by a stranger as a child. It probably was not as bad as it was for that victim; A neighborhood degenerate teen made me undress in front of him. I was under 10 years old. I don’t think about it every day. In fact, even as I began to write this I didn’t think of my own experience at first.

The point is that the fact that the traumatic experience controls this victim’s life is his own decision. He can decide to wallow in his pain or he can decide to put it behind him and live his life. Yeah, easier said than done, but it can be done and is done a million times a day by a million people around the world who experience trauma. What’s more traumatic than losing someone you love? Yet, widows and widowers do it all the time, finding new love and remarrying and going with their lives. They don’t forget the one they’ve lost and bear the grief with them, but healthy people don’t cry about it every day for decades after. They don’t dwell on it every day.

Seeing as this victims has decided to become an activist on the subject, it’s pretty evident that he has decided not to move on. He has my pity.

Written by
Domenico Bettinelli