One of our Sunday traditions is going out to breakfast after Mass. For nearly the past 10 years, I’ve gone to Brother’s Deli in Salem, across the street from Immaculate Conception Church, with friends, and in the last couple of years it’s mainly been Melanie and me and my sister and her husband and kids, and it’s one of the high points of my week.
The restaurant has changed hands over the years and the new owners have installed three HD televisions on the walls, which has created problems. You’d think that Sunday morning TV would be safe for all ages, but ... The first problem came several months ago when they would have ESPN2 on one of the TVs, which on Sunday morning had shows on deerhunting. How does one explain to a 6-year-old and a 4-year-old that the man shot the deer and that it’s dead. Does anyone even want to see that while they’re eating the eggs and bacon?
But yesterday was the most embarrassing. One TV had a talking-head political show on CNN, another was showing something from Discovery, but the third was showing “The Bounty”, the story of the “Mutiny on the Bounty” starring Mel Gibson as “Mr. Christian”. I glanced at it from time to time, mainly to see the images of the great square-rigged sailing ship, but since my back was to it, didn’t pay much attention. That is, I didn’t until my brother-in-law’s eyes nearly bugged out as he tried to cover his son’s eyes. Because if you’ve seen the movie, you may remember there’s a scene where the mutineers are frolicking in the water with the Polynesian island girls who are naked from the waist up!
My sister jumped from her chair and ran over to one of the deli’s employees to ask them to change the channel, which they did to a nice safe Italian opera.
We may have to find a new breakfast place because I don’t think I want eggs with a side of dead deer on my Sunday morning, never mind boobies and breakfast.
Update: Here’s a sample of some our “deer hunting” conversation between me and my four and six-year-old nieces:
“Uncle D, why is the deer lying down and why is the man on his back holding his head by the horns?”
“Um, yeah, they’re playing a game. Eat your bagel.”
Update 2: Since many insist on reading this as me being some sissy East Coast liberal vegetarian who doesn’t want to know where his food comes from, let me reiterate (since writing it multiple times in the comments apparently no one reads before writing their own redundant and condescending comment doesn’t work): I’m not a PETA member here. It’s not the idea of hunting that’s a problem.
Would any of you like to be eating your runny eggs and look up to see a deer take an arrow in the side with blood spurting and then see them following the blood trail to the dead deer?
After all, ESPN itself put up a “Warning: the following segment may contain disturbing and graphic violent content” banner (which I only saw after the first deer got shot.) If people think that letting a 6-year-old child watch blood and gore on TV—especially when it’s real blood and gore, not fake movie blood—is a good idea, then remind me not to let my kids hang out with theirs.
I’m no namby-pamby, “don’t hurt Bambi” liberal, but that’s a little much. And what about the half-naked cavorting women? No one seems to be upset by that.