Something one of our priests said in his homily a couple of weeks ago got me thinking about a way I could exercise my spiritual duties as father and husband. Father told an anecdote in his homily about a friend of his who set his cell phone to beep on the hour every day to remind him to pray for his wife and kids, wherever he happened to be.
I like that idea. I would like to be able to pray the Liturgy of the Hours every day, marking each of the hours of the day with readings and prayers, like religious and priests do. Unfortunately, there just isn’t the time for it. I’m often in meetings or deep in a project and by the time the end of the day rolls around I can’t believe 8 hours has passed.
But this I could do.
So I set up a series of reminders using my favorite to-do web service at RememberTheMilk.com that are timed for each hour. Starting at 9am, RTM sends a notification through their iPhone app to my phone to pray for Melanie. I stop for a moment, say a quick prayer for her needs and intentions and that I would be the husband she needs me to be. Again, at 10, I pray for Isabella, her needs and intentions, and that Melanie and I would be the parents she needs us to be. Then at 11 for Sophia, 1pm for Ben (noon being too distracting with going to lunch), and 2pm for our unborn baby.
Occasionally, I’m talking to someone, or on the phone, or in a meeting when the top of the hour rolls around, but as soon as I can after the hour, I take a minute to pause and pray.
I can’t be with Melanie and the kids every day, all day like I would want, but it’s a way for me to be present with them and to be caring for them even as I go about my workday. It’s a kind of father’s Liturgy of the Hours.
Update: Something I forgot to mention: Last week, Melanie told me that during her weekly trip to the grocery store, she lost track of Sophia at the checkout. Our little 2-year-old had wandered out the doors of the market and a kind woman had come back in to find the mother of the crying little girl outside. I was shaken up hearing about it and Melanie was quite shaken up at the time too. But when she she told me about it later, she mentioned the time of day she got home and got the kids lunch and put them down for naps. I realized then that the incident at the checkout happened at just about 11am, right when I was praying for Sophia. The Holy Spirit moves in mysterious ways.
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This is pretty neat. Thomas More College in New Hampshire is establishing medieval-style guilds for its students, pairing them as apprentices and journeymen to master craftsmen in various disciplines such as baking, woodworking and cabinetry, sacred art. They will create projects for the college as a guild—a new wooden altar for the chapel, for example—as well as individual projects, like bookcases. They will also engage in corporal and spiritual works of mercy: the baking guild will make bread for local homeless shelters, for instance. The idea is formation of the whole person, spiritually, academically, physically, and culturally. Working with your hands is a counter-balance to the ivory tower tendencies of academic and intellectual pursuits.
“In many ways, our guilds will show students how to live,” added Thomas More College director of admissions Mark Schwerdt. “Students will now have confidence that they can fix their own furniture or make music with their family. They will learn how the common man can create works of art as well as how to balance work, family, and leisure—all while enhancing their ability to be creative.”
I have to admit this is pretty cool. I would have loved to have been in a baking guild while studying for my theology degree at Franciscan University. What better pursuit for one who studies the Bread of Heaven at a school infused the spirit of St. Francis than to bake bread and distribute it to the poor? I hope other schools follow suit.
Photo by Matthew Byrne - http://flic.kr/p/6N26C9
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The federal government is about to enact one of the highest jumps in mandatary fleet fuel efficiency requirements, known as the CAFE standards. These rules require an automaker to make all the cars it produces reach a combined average fuel efficiency, which under the new regulations will be 34.1 mpg by 2016. This is the biggest jump since the standards were created in 1975.
As with all things related to government bureaucracy and the lobbyist-industrial complex, the formulation of the standard is extremely complex and filled with both loopholes and taxpayer-funded incentives. However, the bottom line from the point of view of the car buyer, which is let’s face it just about all of us, is that just the increased fuel efficiency requirements alone will raise auto prices about $1,000 on average.
That’s a good-size hit, especially when you consider how badly the auto industry has been doing in this recession. It makes you wonder whether this will be another reason for folks to hold onto their old cars for just a bit longer than they would have. I’m certainly not among those who buy a new car just because the old one is paid off, but a big chunk of the auto-purchasing public is. And basic economics tells you that for every dollar that you inflate the price of something, that’s another fraction of a percent of buyers you put off from buying it. How many buyers will forgo the new ride for an extra $1,000?
I’m not saying that higher fuel efficiency is bad, but the reality is that these standards are so convoluted, they don’t even really bear a relation to real world numbers. An automaker’s miles-per-gallon figure can be adjusted based on changes to the car’s design, what percentage of trucks and SUVs they sell, and all kinds of other metrics that have nothing to do with actual fuel efficiency.
I can’t wait to see how this continues to muck up the economy and the auto industry. Maybe by 2016 we won’t just own Government Motors (GM), but Ford and Chrysler too.
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I can’t believe my boy turned 1 year old on Friday. It’s a cliché, but where has the time gone.
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This is a cute and creative video. It’s imaginative and the sort of thing that could only have happened in the age of the Internet.
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“Why do guys do that?” As a married man with single female friends, it’s a common refrain, often delivered in an exasperated voice following a sad tale of some guy being generally obnoxious. Usually the guy is clueless to his bumbling ways, but it’s always about a guy trying to romance her. Often, he’s being creepy by being too forward, moving too fast, showing up in unexpected places, or assuming too much. I know this because I was that guy once. (I’ve told the embarrassing tale of my first “date” with my wife often enough; I’m moving on.)
So “why do guys do that?”, meaning whatever action is driving the object of his affections away. Well, I’m here to tell you ladies, that we do it because you told us to.
No, not you specifically, but you generally. As in, the fairer sex. Just when did you tell us? In the only places we get exposed to it these days: Romantic comedy and drama movies and TV shows. You know what I’m talking about. There’s Chris O’Donnell, brooding and good-looking, and he’s alienated the leading lady, say, a fetching and endearing Minnie Driver. So he either shows up unannounced at her house with a massive gesture of a gift, say a bouquet of flowers that would choke a horse. Or he sweeps her off her feet to some romantic moment manufactured by him, a candlelit dinner on a rooftop overlooking the sunset over the bay. Or she comes home to a family reunion she was dreading, one in which she anticipates the inevitable “why are you single?” questions, and he’s already there, like one of the family, fitting into her life so perfectly. And later on, in the moonlight, they walk and talk and he stops to kiss her. She resists at first, but then gives in to his advance. Cue the violins.
Admit it, ladies, for just a moment, you swooned. Maybe a little. (Okay, Melanie, I know you didn’t, but let the other ladies admit the moment.)
This is what Hollywood has been shoveling out for decades as the ultimate perfection of romance. And generations of men, dragged to these movies by girlfriends, have seen the women they’re with swoon over the saccharine seductions and become convinced that this must be what women want. And so they try it out with disastrous results. Show up up unannounced and hang out with the intended paramour’s family and you’ll be labeled a stalker. Try to force that kiss on her and you’ll be explaining to the nice police officer that Chris O’Donnell did it and Minnie swooned. The problem is none of us are Chris O’Donnell or Matt Damon or Brad Pitt or all the rest of the romantic leading men. And, ladies, be glad we aren’t.
Now, I’m not excusing the dumb and sometimes downright creepy antics of some of my brothers out there. We should all know better than to think that anything we see on the big or small screen in any way reflects the way people do or ought to behave. But we’ve been conditioned.
So while I’m not saying you ladies should excuse creepy or disrespectful or forward behavior from men who seek your affections, especially when his attention is unwanted, I’m just saying, realize what generations of silver screen romance have wrought in our relationships, false expectations and manufactured moments and all.
N.B. Melanie also reminds me that it doesn’t take much to encourage a guy in the first place. Melanie tells me that when she was in college she would go out to a bar with friends, and some guy would start chatting her up. So being shy and polite, she’d listen and smile, in contrast to all the women who take sport in crushing male egos by not even giving them the time of day or only wanting to talk about themselves. The men would take this as a sign of interest by Melanie and hit on her and ask for her number, when really all she wanted was for the creepy bar guy to leave her alone so she could hang out with her friends and then go home to curl up with a good book.
So that’s another reason guys do “that”. Men are like puppies in that way: Show him some interest, be nice to him, don’t talk just about yourself and it must be a sign that you’re into him. I’m sorry but it’s rough out there in the dating trenches and they’re generally shell-shocked.
Photo credit: Photo by DarkB4Dawn - http://flic.kr/p/5PofCf
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This past Saturday marked 9 years since I started this blog: July 3, 2001.
As I do every year at this time, I reflect on how much has changed. Just a few months later would be 9/11 and then a few months after that the Scandal would break out. In that time span I would meet Melanie, we’d date, get married, and now are preparing for our 4th child. Nine years ago, I was the newly minted managing editor for Catholic World Report and today I’m working in New Media for the Archdiocese of Boston.
So many great blogs and bloggers have come and gone. Heck, nine years ago I think Tom and Rocco were only in high school and look at them now. They’re the leading lights of Catholic blogdom. But a lot of familiar names are still around too: Amy, Mark, Jeff, Jimmy, Kathy. (Note to self: Don’t make lists of names. You’ll leave someone out and hurt someone’s feelings.) And a lot of great blogs have started even in recent years.
Not to forget the great commenters as well. I miss the regular connection with so many of you who used to populate my comboxes when I was writing regularly and I want you all to know that I often think of you and wonder how you are doing now.
Back then there wasn’t such a thing as a Catholic blogosphere, or even a blogosphere at all. Now, there are thousands of Catholic blogs, all providing one facet in this great jewel of faith shared among strangers-who-are-friends.
I guess there will come a day when we don’t make blogiversaries, either because blogs will be as commonplace as telephones or because they will have become anachronisms replaced by something new and shiny.
Nevertheless, I’m glad to be here at Bettnet.com, whatever forms it takes and I most greatly value all the people I’ve connected with through it. This blog has changed my life for the better in so many ways and for that I’m grateful.
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Posted via email from Domenico’s posterous
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THE UNANIMOUS
DECLARATION
OF THE
THIRTEEN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
WHEN, in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume, among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s GOD entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the Causes which impel them to the Separation.
We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their CREATOR, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.—That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate, that Governments long established, should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.
HE has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.
HE has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
HE has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People, unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyranny only.
HE has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.
HE has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.
HE has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining, in the mean Time, exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.
HE has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
HE has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
HE has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and the Amount and Payment of their Salaries.
HE has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harrass our People, and eat out their Substance.
HE has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the Consent of our Legislatures.
HE has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
HE has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
FOR quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:
FOR protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
FOR cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:
FOR imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
FOR depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:
FOR transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:
FOR abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rule into these Colonies:
FOR taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
FOR suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Power to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever.
HE has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection, and waging War against us.
HE has plundered our Seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our Towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.
HE is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to complete the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with Circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized Nation.
HE has constrained our Fellow-Citizens, taken Captive on the high Seas, to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
HE has excited domestic Insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes, and Conditions.
IN every Stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every Act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.
NOR have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them, from Time to Time, of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our Connexions and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of Consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the Rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
WE, therefore, the Representatives of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, in GENERAL CONGRESS Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connexion between them and the State of Great-Britain, is, and ought to be, totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of Right do. And for the Support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of DIVINE PROVIDENCE, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honour.
USS Constitution, July 4, 2007. Photo by Domenico Bettinelli.
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The girls and Ben were getting a little rambunctious and fractious this afternoon as they tried to crowd around the limited space of the chalkboard easel. That’s when Melanie had the inspiration to suggest that they all move outside and “chalk” on the driveway, especially since the afternoon sun had moved to the western side of the house and left most of the driveway in cooler shadows.
(Yes, they use “chalk” as a verb. After all, we paint with paint, so we chalk with chalk. “We’re chalking!” is a common joyful refrain in our house.
To preserve the joyous moment of tranquility, I pulled out my iPhone 4 and used the video-recording capabilities. then I cut and edited the footage together, slapped on titles and a soundtrack, and the uploaded it to YouTube. All from within the iPhone. Amazing. I love living in the future.
One particularly nice feature of the new phone is the camera on the same side as the screen. This makes for some fun footage of the kids as they see themselves and react to it, as you can see from Ben and Sophia. Plus it allows for some fun angles like shooting the kids from below their eye level.
Oh, and speaking of tranquility, I spent an hour this afternoon driving around Holbrook, checking out all kinds of side streets I’d never seen while I tried to get Ben to calm down. He’s been teething something fierce for weeks now and woke up from his nap just screaming and screaming. It so distressed Melanie and Isabella that I volunteered to take him for a ride in the car. He didn’t fall asleep like I’d hoped, but he did remain calm most of the time, whimpering along mainly.
But now he’s in bed and Melanie is getting the girls down and I’m cleaning up the dining room and kitchen. We had a nice meal of grilled chicken in fajita marinade over a green salad full of fixins’ we got at the farmers market this morning. The farms are finally producing a bounty of fruits and vegetables and our Saturday night dinners are benefiting from that abundance: fresh lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, radishes and more.
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