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Ted’s toddler tome

Kathy Shaidle tells us that Sen. Ted Kennedy is publishing a children’s book. (What is it that every celebrity is putting out children’s books, almost all of them ghost-written? To show that not only can they not write a book adults will read, but they can’t even write a kid’s book?)

Anyway, the book features, no kidding, the Senator’s dog, Splash. Yes, Splash. For those of you who don’t know, Kennedy is known in these parts as The Swimmer for his part in the Chappaquiddick incident. Back to Splash: Want to guess what breed he is? Portuguese Water Dog. No kidding. Irony is dead.

So Kathy’s proposed titles for the book are: Remembering President Goldwater, The Day Mao Wrote The Communist Manifesto, I Fell for a Hoax (and the Boston Globe Fired Its Factcheckers), Is There A Problem, Officer?

Funny, but no one zings the Kennedy’s like Boston Herald columnist Howie Carr who contributes the following from his (subscriber-only) column:

Make Way for Gin Blossoms. Willy Wonka and the Vodka Factory. Frosty the Bad Ice Cube. The Little Oldsmobile that Couldn’t. Me and My Air Pocket. Heather Has Two Toddies. Through the Drinking Glass. Teddy Kennedy and the Goblet of Firewater.

Booze Clues. Where in the World is Mary Jo?

Has the senator considered a rhyming work, a la Dr. Seuss? Green Eggs and Ham could be retitled Green Beers and Scotch.

“I love to drink it from a jar/ I love to drink it in my car/ I love to drink it without pants/I swill it whenever I get the chance”

My Liver Has a Quiver. Horton Hears a Siren. Bartholomew and the Field Sobriety Test. Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea. 20,000 Beers Under the Sea. Das Oldsmobile. The Old Man and the Sea.

That’s our senator!

Technorati Tags: Kennedy, Massachusetts, politics

Posted by Domenico Bettinelli on 01/11/06 at 01:57 PM  •   •  Vote for this post on PickAFig  • 


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COMMENTS

Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.

United States Posted by Victor  on  01/11/06  at  02:09 PM



I swill it whenever I get the chance  ??

8, 8, 8, 10 ?

Howie Carr is sure no poet,
But I guess he doesn’t know it.

United States Posted by Carrie  on  01/11/06  at  04:03 PM



This guy flouts his “Catholicism”  all the while, he publicly urinates on the magesterium.  Arch bishop after archbishop of Boston have proven that their spines are of jello. With-holding public rebukes of this cad, all the while, stating that they are counseling   “Teddy” in private.  This situation with this man is totally sinful and a scandal for the Church in America.

The prelates of Boston have been in the pockets of the Kennedy’s for decades.  It is a shameful situation.  It dates back even to the pre V2 days.

United States Posted by  on  01/11/06  at  09:13 PM



This guy flouts his “Catholicism” all the while, he publicly urinates on the magesterium.

Aw, Brian, you really shouldn’t say stuff about Howie like that. wink

United States Posted by Kelly Clark  on  01/12/06  at  12:49 AM



At least Howie knows he’s a bad Catholic.  And he was very respectful during Pope JP II’s last days and funeral.  He received the same crappy catechesis that many of us 50-somethings received but he hasn’t moved beyond it.  I like to think there’s still hope for him, though, unlike “the Swimmer”.


smirk

United States Posted by Lynne  on  01/12/06  at  09:31 AM



oh, those are soooo funny!

I’m curious, Massachusetts when are you going to vote that man out of office?

And I’m serious on this question:Is there REALLY anyone who just loves this Kennedy? I mean, even his most loyal cronies have GOT to see that he doesn’t live in the real world after watching the Alito hearings. He is so blinded in his hatred for Bush, GOP, morality, truth that he is more and more looking like he cannot really be a good Senator from Massachusetts. I’m really serious on this: Have you heard of folks who really like this guy??

United States Posted by JenB  on  01/12/06  at  10:45 AM



>>>Have you heard of folks who really like this guy??<<<

LOL! Honestly, as a lifelong resident of Massachusetts, I don’t know anyone who votes for him! Either they lie or something is fishy. I think most don’t admit to voting for him because they do it for selfish reasons—Ted brings home the bacon.

United States Posted by  on  01/12/06  at  12:11 PM



I know plenty of people who vote for the man.

United States Posted by infanted  on  01/12/06  at  08:27 PM



At least Howie knows he’s a bad Catholic.  And he was very respectful during Pope JP II’s last days and funeral.  He received the same crappy catechesis that many of us 50-somethings received but he hasn’t moved beyond it.  I like to think there’s still hope for him, though, unlike “the Swimmer”.

I’m sure I’ve misread this post. It almost reads as if there is no hope for Ted Kennedy’s redemption.

This of course, is contrary to all Catholic teaching, which is why I’m sure I’ve read it in error.

United States Posted by Kelly Clark  on  01/12/06  at  08:46 PM



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