A new dad who happens to be a software engineer leaves hilariously detailed instructions for the babysitter of his newborn son:
"Hey, this is a quick primer on dealing with an infant. Hope it's useful for you.
- He gets a bottle every 2 hours (today, he started at 9:30a)
- 3 oz, warmed to blood temperature in microwave in mug of water
- In your Microwave, this proved to take about 30 sec
- During feeding, Wiggle the nipple gently until you can tell he's getting suction
- The vent will be dry
- You'll see bubbles rising to the formula's surface inside the bottle as air enters via the vent
- 3 oz, warmed to blood temperature in microwave in mug of water
- In case of crying
- Is his diaper dirty?
- Simple test is if the front feels swollen; if so, he's peed at least.
- Poop will have a distinct smell; carefully open the back and look for signs
- He poops every other day, so it probably won't be an issue
- See [Skills/Changing a Diaper]"
- Is his diaper dirty?
And so on ...